January 6, 2021 at 9:45 am #3027Huong NguyenKeymaster
Dawit Tadesse – Ethiopia
As most of the male stereotypes explained in the attached files, some of the male stereotypes in our community are similar that emanates from: natural behavior that sex difference cause and responsibility that arise from gender identity like boys should act like man, no womanish behavior, no crying, domination in taking tasks, and to some extreme characteristics like being drug addict, violent, rude, sex addicts, dirty and dictators. As for my community, the male stereotypes focus more on gender and the tasks it comes along with it. These gender issues mainly result from traditional cultural norms that put men above than women so as they are the one who rules in the household activity, feed the family, risk-takers, and braves, meet or contact the great person in the community or someone who’s in charge of the community, decide on main issues in the house and also the community, take care the community and so on. And these have negative effects since it puts pressure on the young generation to live in this trend regardless of their deep down feeling and personality which might cause personality disorder while deviating from the social norm and cause a psychological problem.
The best measures that I believe we need to introduce to solve the issue is mainly by teaching the community focusing on women since they are the backbone of the society because creating awareness takes the first and most effective approach to solve such critical social base issues. And also creating a chance that shows women are also capable of finishing some tasks that are believed to be only men’s; furthermore, forming a support group that males can share their ideas or personal problem they face whether its personality makes up or medical case or whatever it’s and get help for it, and hiring men psychiatrist in close medical centers so that males can visit them freely whenever they want to.
As I stated in the previous question, the main solution to intervene and change the older generation point of view is through teaching and creating awareness in the community of elders through different methods like launching festivals, hosting programs that show the effects of male stereotypes that the community is living by accepting as a traditional norm, being a role model in the community and cause for the change, working on the family to make a significant change like sharing ideas freely and openly interacting in the family so that boys get the chance to share their problems and free their mind from stress and eventual mental disorder letting them live their passion and interest regardless to gender base traditional tasks and norms.
Yes, I believe so. In a community I’m living right now a lot of toxic masculinity especially in teenagers are prevailed which is due to unguided child growth by the family since most of the family are living under the standard living condition which causes the children to go out from home and compound to places that are dangerous for kids mental and also to places where it is harmful to kids growth in search of financial support to their family so the kids get in trouble with psychological makeup, personality disorder, drug addiction, joining gangsters, violence, theft, and so on resulting for unhealthy toxic masculinity. To explain it with the reality, there are boys I know in my village who are exposed to such life starting from their adolescence age and now they are in great difficulties dealing with violence, extreme drug addiction like alcohol, chat and cigarettes, hookah and other illegal drugs, involving in theft activities due to lack of source of income for their addiction resulting to be more violent and gangsters and get prisoned in their young age. And some of them have faced medical problems having mental sickness that caused them to stay in hospital and some of them passed away due to this life.
In my opinion, I believe it can be unlearnt although it could cost and take a lot of energy since it deals with correcting a person’s personality or shaping behavior and one’s growth as a new form. Hence, by taking the right and effective approach we can manage toxic masculinity and these are: working on family since it’s the base for everything to take care of their children and grow them telling the right information what they will face during adolescence, creating opportunities for youths that they can spend their time on important issues or activities, or participate in voluntary activities, forming institutes that can facilitate in finding job opportunities including for those who are in jail, greening of environmental activities.
As Kectil colleague, I suggest means of solution to be more effective and long-lasting thus it’d be better to focus more on discipline during academy lecture being an active student in the compound to make it realize and being a role model, launching youth-focused entertainments and festivals by taking lead, forming support groups that focus male stereotypes and toxic masculinities in an environment where male adults and adolescents are present more with other local Kectil colleagues combined, having influence in places where we engage whether its universities or workplaces or business places.
The benefits can be listed as much as possible but to mention some of them: there will be wellbeing and harmonious interaction among the society, the community will be productive and can show progress in the advancement of living standard and modernization, the children will be a great person in the world history and could promote their community and its culture which they were grown up from so that the community gets known national and international wide which contribute for the development of the community.
In the case of a pandemic, there are some approaches we can’t put to work thus the solution might focus mainly on the internet particularly through social media that can interact with youths. However, we need to be careful while using the internet or social media to make contact and share useful information because it has a great side effect on itself if it is used excessively and improperly as we have seen the impacts of the internet previously. Hence, using social media like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Telegram, What’s up, Viber, Imo, Skype, and others we can share life, health, educational or important tips and pieces of information, books, or we can have fun in group chat discussion or playing real-life dares or challenges aside to internet that can build and shape a good personality like trying to finish reading a novel or any book or exercising live together. And also we can explore websites that can help to develop a healthy personality like online teaching websites, language websites, or checking up websites that can refresh our mind like entertainment and websites whose contents are refreshing natures, its beauty and facts about nature since nature by itself gives hope, strength and create a positive attitude. Aside from the internet, we can use communication media like television and radio launching a single channel to forward youth-focused information that can help to build up and shape one’s behavior or personality in a way that can create a harmonious interaction with society and able us to be effective in our field of life.
As we all know men are tend to be more active than women in nature so men can take a lead and active participation in community development even though they are not courageous to finish tasks that can take longer time relative to women. And also boys are more self-confident in the task they are given so they can take the risk of a single task and put their all effort to make it happen or work so both females and the community can follow their lead as confidence and risk-taking are one of the requirements for leaders.
As I’ve stated in the previous question, most males in my community especially those who are teenagers and youths are using their natural abilities on unhealthy things. These are theft, violence, bullying, and addiction to legal and illegal drugs like alcohol, chat, cigarettes, hookah, and weed. And as most of the community is illiterate, uncivilized and have traditional cultural influence, some of the males are absolute dictator in their own home and the community, and they are not willing to cope up with anyone if they are not into the idea irrespective to no one’s identity whether its elder’s nor literate.
The liberation of women is one of the great advancements of society as a nation and also our community that I appreciate a lot. However, the empowerment of women to some extent is taking advantage of the contrary to fair and what’s just between boys’ and girls’ rights. To mention some of the real impacts, girls have been given too many opportunities and advantages over boys in the academy which I’m one of the victims for it while I was in elementary and first-year campus and also on job opportunities which I can mention my big brother. And this empowering of women is causing an impact on men’s life like losing hope in competition, to have hatred for girls in class since the teachers even male teachers support and give more priority for girls and consider most boys are lazy and also on workplaces by the employer or boss. As a result, boys in class are developing desperateness when it comes to grades and competition, and men on the job to develop grievance and dissatisfaction.
There’s a guy called Tesfa whom I got to know during campus life in Harar city as a head and founder of Harar Ye Hager Lij Non-governmental Voluntary Association. He’s working on this association which takes care and supports street boys and girls as parents by providing all the basic needs they need like providing shelter in his compound, getting clothes and meals they need from the city riches and other NGO’s and also he’s trying to fulfill what they want like education including to live their passion and interest creating a safe environment and providing all the accommodation they need. The reason I choose him is his endless effort and hope to see the greatness of his children in the future and he could manage and win the difficult life he had been through which was growing as an orphan child and faced the life of street life at the young age but he could use his brilliant mind to something great so he became a high school teacher and finally, he started this association and for this big association in Harar he formed, he was granted a medal of appreciation from the city and nation and also got a YALI scholarship for further training and support.
For the community to be developed and advanced, it demands the effort of both sexes: man and woman. Thus the right they enjoy and the empowerment that both of them acquire has to be fair and just in a way that can inspire unity and active participation; otherwise, it could harm the community itself so that there has to be a group or organization that need to check up the community and also creating a standard or criteria that deals with the empowerment of the necessary group or community. For example, at the moment empowering the city women is unnecessary but instead, it’s bringing disappointment on the contrary group. And also focusing on the issues that can cause empowerment as solving issues from the source is the best means of intervening in a problem.
At the moment such empowerments need to address the issue from the source and try to intervene the problem before proceeding to empowering the victimized community or group and setting a standard or criteria that can be applied before empowering a group or community to realize effective and efficient movement with the short and smart goal that can be succeeded. Also, such movements should work along with the society and need to constantly consult the community so as their movement is effective and the approach they take would be perfect.
On the day December 17, 2020, I, two of my new friends in the new village I moved in and with my elder brother and sister conducted a discussion by physical chatting in our new home since I couldn’t have a connection to discuss with my campus friends as I used to be taking the lead about males role in our society, male stereotypes and how we could solve such problems explaining also Kectil Male Promise.
On the panel, we’ve tried to discuss previously mentioned topics in detail even though the persons I could talk to have no professional background. And the panelists agreed with the Kectil Male Promise and took it as one of the solutions for the advancement and wellbeing of the community. So finding the pledge as one of the standards or criteria for empowerment and also as a good rule to be community’s guideline just like communities’ norms, they all are willing to take the pledge and promised to share the Kectil male promise website to their friends in social media as well as to participate in the next Kectil program.
The panelist believed that the promises are perfect especially in the context of forming healthy masculinity but to add some promises: male should take the lead in community active participation, be a role model for the female in the way that females can take them as a role model during empowering of females because men naturally have the ability to lead by taking a risk and being self-confident which we believed that it’s significant to realize the development of a community. And for the women who need urgent help, we need to form a support group aside to empowering movement in reaching out for the victimized women. Furthermore, we need to work on males as well to have healthy behavior by creating awareness in the club where they participate and youth entertainment places.
And finally, we closed our discussion by agreeing to participate in the Kectil Male Pledge and Kectil 2021 program sharing such informative and crucial websites to other peers who are staying home during the pandemic as means of leveling up oneself to success.
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