Rubika J – India

  • January 6, 2021 at 10:35 am #3036
    Huong Nguyen

    1. Stereotypes and Cultures that hurt males

    a. What male stereotypes can you identify within your immediate community? Explain why you believe these are stereotypes. (less than 200 words)
    Societal expectations on male as a male should not to show his emotion, to be dominant over female, and be the key decision maker without considering female’s point of view. A typical example on serious issue in my community due to men’s inherent character of escapism is mother-in-law and daughter-in-law problems. A male has no idea with the female language and both his mother and his wife face the problem of losing him. So, both-mother and wife got to say problems on each other, which he has no clue why both of them were fighting. As per psychologist, the women’s behaviour on stating problems and finding solution is inherent attitude of both the females, Men doesn’t have such behaviour. With lack of this knowledge, the entire society is facing a serious issue. These are stereotypes because society and his paternal inheritance have not provided this knowledge on his own characters; which makes a serious issue.

    b. What measures do you believe can be instituted in order to ensure that these stereotypes can be broken down? (less than 400 words)
    There should be lot of awareness created on such stereotypes, many have no idea there exists such attitude and such stereotypes, and because of this behaviour problem persists in the community. Stating on the above example, there is two famous books on men behaviour, which made this as a major stereotype. These two books where written by psychologists from the study on men behaviour, both the books stated that, the perception of men and his emotions made a lot of stereotypes in the community, which lead to serious issues such as emotional breakdown in men and causes secondary issues such as rape, domestic violence and other dominant behavioural issues. The measures that need to be taken is education on such awareness, such awareness include the way he gets emotionally bonded and what is his emotional intelligence level, and his emotional communication skills. Besides, his attitude on not expressing emotions leads to lot of communication barrier. To get over from such attitude, there must be a platform for such learning provision on emotions, his way of behaviour and on building emotional intelligence within him. And also it needs to be done with his own day to day activities.

    c. How do you think we can change the points of view of older generations in order to see the harm that male stereotypes are having on the younger generations’ mental health? (less than 400 words)
    As for older generations, the view on male stereotypes arises with lot of misunderstandings, trust breaking and interprets as the younger generations change of attitude towards cultural shift. This leads to older generations to have a negative view on male stereotypes, certain times they may be the only reason for such male stereotypes in younger generations. But to bring in change in older generation, a male has to speak about the male stereotypes and its harm that brings in a community. For example, if a man speaks on one of his male stereotypes- not to show emotions, in a family setting, the most vulnerable population will be the older generation, without a male not stating on his emotions, he might get into lot of frustration where he has to take care of his children, his wife and his parents. Due to his stereotype, the older generation is getting vulnerable, if a man can state on the harm that male stereotype that can bring older generations view differ significantly. It is a duty of a male to provide such provision to understand what really happens; When a male doesn’t know his attitude and what are the consequences, what really is happening and how to handle it, where he needs to do a lot from this part. Bringing in such changes in a community setup is difficult, but when it comes as individual or in family-based decision making where both male and female participate equally; the views on male stereotypes that older generation have the probability to change significantly
    2. Healthy versus Toxic masculinity

    a. Do you believe that toxic masculinity is still evident within today’s society? Please substantiate your answer. (less than 300 words)
    Yes, toxic masculinity still occurs in the society, it happens in two ways. One the rape attitude that occur in the society. Two a man’s attitudes in a family setting. The first attitude occurs because of his male dominant behaviour and his urge to control things which he redirects into the society and bringing in his inherent animal behaviour and becomes psychologically a rapist. As a man his inherent characters on not providing the redirecting his skills will make him behave more like an animal. With his animal behaviour, he will become a male dominant in the family. This is the phase where he doesn’t consider any decision of women, followed by his low esteem and low self confidence which turns into a dominant behaviour. This is toxic masculinity that still prevails in the society.

    b. Can toxic masculinity be unlearnt? Please elaborate on your answer (less than 200 words)
    Yes, it can be unlearnt, people think learning is only for children, but toxic masculinity is a subject that needs to be learned by adults and people in their retirement age. This is a topic which need to be discussed by everyone. The process of unlearning starts from the stage of listening to such problems. Listening and just talking about toxic masculinity doesn’t make any fruitful need to the community. The toxic masculinity can be learnt only when men are ready to go through such rigorous self-learning process.

    c. How, as a Kectil Colleague, would you go about shifting the narrative from toxic to healthy masculinity? (less than 300 words)
    Yes, basically both mental health and toxic masculinity are both are inter-related. There are lot of psychologists who wrote books on behaviour of men in relationship. The real face of toxic masculinity occurs only have been written lot of books on relationship issues, toxic masculinity is the main reason for that, which leads to lot of problems in a society. This shifting the narrative from toxic to healthy masculinity can be done by educating some of the influencing social media male and make them tell narrative on toxic masculinity and its impact on oneself. Besides, I can start a Instagram page stating on all the ways of getting to shift towards healthy masculinity. This is some of the ways I am saying as a Kectil colleague to contributing towards healthy masculinity. With previous assignments and this I can see the shift and correlation between mental health, leadership and Male role in society. Waiting to get to know the overview and need to start working on it.

    d. What do you believe the benefits of integrating a sense of healthy masculinity into a community are? (less than 200 words)
    Healthy masculinity brings in a lot of good to the community. Integrating healthy masculinity into community will bring lot of opportunities in work places. Because healthy masculinity has no boundaries when it comes to execution, organization and other aspects in controlling. This controlling habit of masculinity should be redirected towards influencing character where it brings opportunities in the community. The benefits of integrating a sense of healthy masculinity into community will bring in much healthier and happier community, where there will be less violence.

    e. How do you believe we can enhance healthy masculinity practices within our communities, especially in the context of lockdown and the pandemic? (less than 300 words)

    Creating awareness especially activity based virtual workshops, besides with some questionnaires and other follow up on what is masculinity and how do they implement on their lives is something that we can bring in males to enhance healthy masculinity practices. Especially in case of lockdown, we can work more on activities that are simple enough to work in home. Mostly men trigger their brains with questions. But the difficult task is consistency in making them work. Besides all these context should not be in written, some should be framed more to trigger the real valuable healthy masculinity of man. On this context, content should not be a discussion, it should be a session where each and everyone gets to know about themselves on their own.

    3. How Males can use their innate skills to protect females and advance/improve society

    a. What natural abilities do you think men have to support females and transform the community? (not more than 100 words)
    Men have the inherent property of working rigorously and looking into long term problems but their decision-making skills are much less when compared with females. When men can improve their decision-making skills in short term aspects and the patience to listen females’ perspectives will bring in a lot support to females and thereby, they can achieve success.

    b. Comment on how males are using their natural abilities in your community (not more than 150 words)
    In my community, most of the men’s natural abilities are confined with leading and controlling Micro, mini small-scale industries. These industries are driven maximum by men and further in case of agriculture, the field work and other agricultural marketing practices are done by men because of the uncertainties that occur in the agricultural land or in the forest. Mostly men state this as protecting behaviour where they can actually protect women from the uncertainties. But what I actually see is that the lack of basic facilities to survey in such places, in case of an organization, it is much cost consuming to send a female to such places. And at this point it is better to use males’ natural abilities than to look such situations as male dominancy.

    c. The world has seen great milestones in the area of women empowerment. This came with a shift in roles among men and women. What impacts do you see women liberation movements have on males in your society? (less than 500 words)
    Women liberation movements made significant changes in male. The difference that brought in males is that they can understand what really a female requires and why such movements are necessary. One of the key differences which I have seen in my lifetime is that the shift with generations in their decision-making attitude. The older generations decision be more like where there will be lack of privacy for females. In case of today’s generations, the decision-making attitude is shifted drastically where 50% of the decisions are taken with the consultation of women. This shift is occurred only with the women liberation movements. The impacts that created in males in my society is that the way they see humanity; in times where the male dominancy is much higher humanity is not for females in their houses, it is for people outside the houses. Men who have grown from such community show significantly a lot difference with their attitude towards females on humanity. The other attitudes that came into the community due to the impacts of women liberation movements are empathy, realizing the mistakes that men do in the community, men emotional behaviour and the way men reacts to a situation. These behaviours or attitudes where lacking in the period where women were confined to work in the kitchen and their only duty was cooking. Eventually such attitudes got eradicated due to the women liberation movements. And today, men do the cooking and all household chores followed by women where she takes care of the organization and works for the family. This is a major shift and created positive impact in the community. As I stated before such understanding has occurred due to the concepts of women liberation movements, certain movements include rights to equality in finance and ancestral property, rights to equality in education and empowerment. The statement given as—Casey Hayden and Mary King, “Sex and Caste,” November 18, 1965
    Women are an oppressed class. Our oppression is total, affecting every facet of our lives. We are exploited as sex objects, breeders, domestic servants, and cheap labour. We are considered inferior beings; whose only purpose is to enhance men’s lives. Our humanity is denied. Our prescribed behaviour is enforced by the threat of physical violence.”
    The first statement to start women liberation movement worldwide. And this is the same statement still that exists in my community. And I still want to provide a lot of emotional intelligence to men, who doesn’t have basic understanding on how to handle emotions, and the way to control his emotions. More on more women liberation movements will bring in such emotional intelligence to men.

    d. Single out an outstanding young male in your country/ region who you believe is putting their abilities to good use. Write about what this person is doing (with facts) and why you chose them among the many (less than 300 words)

    This is an initiative taken by my college professor and senior, this website provides knowledge on what is agriculture? And the scope of agriculture, besides they do a lot of activities to make sure the community knows about agriculture and successful agricultural farmers who can change the community, it is an initiative by agricultural students to the community to more on agriculture and its importance. Kaviyarasan is the executive editor of kalanipoo, he is the person who is organizing all the events and runs a youtube channel-The Agraria IMOT-
    it provides a lot of knowledge on agriculture. As of me, he put his abilities in a right way and used his ability to become successful in the community, and I chose because agriculture is the backbone of my nation. These initiatives are targeted Tamil Nadu, a region-specific approach for agriculture to target Tamil Nadu school students to bring in agriculture. So that the community gets to know the importance of agriculture. These are the facts I chose Kalanipoo among many.

    e. How do you think women and men can work together to develop the community they live in? (not more than 200 words)
    Men and women have very different perspectives in thinking and in the way they look into things are very different. For example, in general psychologist’s state that men decide and look for very long-term aspects on work and women decide and look for short term aspects on work. Besides, men look for controlling and leading and women looks for creativity and planning. Sometimes this role may get shifted with men and women, but how far the communication and male accept these concepts will determine his masculinity level. On both of them working this together, the work or the task taken will get completed successfully. When both men and women work together the work and the impact it creates will be significantly a lot of higher in the society.

    f. What shape should an ideal women liberation movement in the contemporary world take Physical ability (less than 200 words)
    The ideal shape women liberation movement should take is that more than empowering women, it needs to do a lot of education to men and the society. Certain times, the women liberation moment stops only with the empowering, making women financially independent. But an ideal movement should empower both men and women in a community. Especially with emotions and handling oneself is not learnt anywhere in their whole life. After school and college days there is no portfolio to talk about women liberation, how so ever men say about women liberation in their working places, which is just for name sake. The learning phase or late learning attitude on emotional part of handling women, understanding women’s emotions is not prevalent in our society. This is what lacking in my community, once such measure is taken then women liberation movement become an ideal one.
    To give you some context, this is what the Kectil Male Promise entails:

    i) When you see a female you find attractive, you must ask yourself this VERY important question. “If I am with this female and she gets pregnant, would I be willing to take care of her and the baby with a full commitment?” If the answer is no, then put your hands in your pocket and walk away.
    ii) I agree not to hit or physically or mentally attack a female.
    iii) I agree to keep my eyes open as a protector to identify situations in which a female is at risk and will try to take reasonable steps to help if possible.
    iv) I will encourage other males to take the Kectil Promise Leaders Pledge.

    a. Does the panel agree with this pledge?
    Yes and some have no idea about why such talk needs to be carried out where for them everything is totally fine.

    b. How would you go about encouraging males to take the ‘Kectil Male Promise?’
    By creating awareness on why male promises are needed.

    c. What do you believe can be added to the Male Promise, and why?
    I will be equally supporting any female including my wife on each and every basis.

    d. What responsible steps do you believe are constituted in facilitating other females who find themselves in risky situations?
    First to get clarity on which is the situation, emotional intelligence and then action is needed to be taken.

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